Pastor Mark Driscoll and Pastor Tim Gaydos answer this question as part of a live Q&A session at Mars Hill Downtown. Members SMS questions to their pastors to be answered in real time.
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How important is attraction in dating?
How To Seduce a Woman
1 min read
perhaps this man you speak of is insecure, immature or blind. Honey if you are gorgeous and he can’t see that, move away or find someone who will. Because I’m sure you are a certified beauty, but unrequited crushes or love, they are never good for the soul and can leave you so broken.
but unfortunately I knew in my heart that although, I wanted it to work so badly for the point of no longer being alone, I just had no chemical attraction. I wasn’t drawn to this person at all. I felt nothing. I had to break someone’s heart, in the same way that my heart was broken by men who weren’t attracted to me, But I’m telling people, if there is no pull, there is no “building up”, that things aren’t naturally progressional that things feel “forced”. This is not from God.
man I was regrettably single for ten years. And the church would usually encourage people to wait ” for the right one” but condemn the idea of socially integrating and keeping your options open. I finally got pursued, I was treated right, I was told I was beautiful, when I told myself continuously that I wasn’t because I was always on the receiving end of unrequited feelings and finally a guy liked me, I gratefully hung on to a man that I had no feelings for all because he had feelings for me.
Hey guys do yourself a favor and STAY THE HELL away from the girls who claim to be “Christians”.
There are no christian girls left in America.
Most of the girls in America by the time they are 19 have had sex with many guys, drank and vomited alcohol and smoked some kind of a drug. They are damaged goods and used products by the time they are 24 of age.
To all gullible nice guys out there, reject girls who say they are pure virgin christians because they are not.
Sometimes a man can think all the above about you but he might not be attracted to you as a girlfriend.I think he sees you more like a good friend he loves and wants in his life.You cant help who you are attracted to,its either there or its not.If he says he isnt then just leave it that way and be his friend,you never know.The man for you WILL be attracted to you cos what he likes in a woman was created with you in mind.The bone of your bone..:)All the best sweetie
I married a man who was attracted to me and convinced me to marry him as a result of what I look like he committed adultery on me after 14 years of marriage. Why because he never was fulfilled with who I am as a woman I have had to learn to live with this I am not attracted to him I never was I have had to learn to live with this….I say if there is no attraction then God isn’t in it…if the reaction over the person isn’t in your heart run! or you will be sentenced to life….
“Attraction isnt a choice” David Deangelo
Attraction isnt a choice
“Charm is deceitful, and beauty is vain,
but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised”…..i will repeat for emphasis
BEAUTY IS VAIN
I absolutely love how Mark talks about his wife! It’s so beautiful and refreshing to hear.
If he said all those things, yet tells you he “isn’t attracted to you”… he’s lying. He’s either lying because he is scared of something, or either he’s lying about one, some, or all of those things that you mentioned. Either way, dude sounds like either trouble or a coward.
Honestly dont waste your time. IMO the only one that I cannot live without is Jesus Christ. The rest is just details.
they worry more becuase they dont want to be rejected, we all want to be admired and get attention but obesity and unnatractivness are bad karma for wrong doing , its commen sense that people prefer a beautiful healthy woman more than a fat unnatractive woman becuaese we look at partners in a way of survival for a future a healthy woman would be a better suiter to reproduce,
What frustrates me is that I have someone in my life that I really genuinely do feel I can’t live without…and he doesn’t feel the same way about me… :'( Or actually he sort of does feel that way (fears ever losing me), but says he’s not attracted to me. What is attraction exactly? If he calls me his best friend, loves my heart, adores our friendship, enjoys my intellect, values my opinion, covets my input and finds me astoundingly beautiful, how is that not attraction? o.O
I am not ugly but not Jessica Alba either. I find discusting to see christian men that are frankly ugly or plain and want Angelina Jolie with the soul of mother Theresa an nothing else. If you don’t have the heart of Martin Luther king and the body of Brad Pitt, just get someone normal, to your level. I cannot change my face, but I can get closer to Christ. I gave all of my life to him and I get disapointed to see so few men that are seeing that as precious above all else, as I search in a man
FINALLY! someone who feels the same way! I love Jesus and would seek a gal who feels the same way but I actually think it is morally questionable (partly in that it is ungrateful to God for his gifts of physical/aesthetic beauty and our appreciation thereof) to date someone while knowingly finding them Physically unnatractive- thats just disgusting.
nonetheless i agree it is equally as wrong to date with looks as your primary/only basis.
Let me assure you that there are PLENTY of “job” pastors out there, faithful men that really serve God, don’t get to caught up in your immediate surroundings or the media spectacle pastors that you hear about.
Amen!
Yes and no. You shouldn’t raise your bar to an incredibly high place to where only megan foxx can get in but you also shouldn’t settle because that isn’t fair to her. But if your primary basis is looks then you’ve got it all wrong. Because what happens when you are old? When she doesn’t look like she used to? Do you just trade off?
Ohh.. I see what you are saying.. that is true for the most part.. there are some legit ones out there though..
That was four months ago and I actually can’t believe I posted that. It wasn’t an insult made towards suzyros, rather a recognition of the fact that pastors tend to have a pretty lady on their arm, a nice house, some cash, etc – while telling the rest of us that looks don’t matter, that it doesn’t matter what kind of house we have, or if we have money … there are no Job pastors.
@aveyowyns that was kind of rude
I agree -It’s total attraction. Let’s be honest guys, there’s a lot of people that are physically attractive but there’s really only one person that your heart will turn towards. So I think it’s too vague to comment on whether physical sector is essential because unless it’s in an experience, I think it’s very difficult to fairly clarify.
FINALLY! APASTOR WHO AGREES_ its the WHOLE PERSON! Mentally, theologically/spiritually, AND PHYSICALLY- too many people nowadays just leave out that last one in the name of a twisted notion of ‘deepness’ without understanding its importance.